"I have held many things in my hands, and I have lost them all; but whatever I have placed in God's hands, that I still possess." -Martin Luther

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Haiku's Do Not Have Titles

Posts do.

Justin Johns and I had fun in Calculus class today. Heather's haiku started us off.

Justin is not happy about our last test. Considering the class average grade was something like a 41%, and no one got above a C, I think that describes most of us:

I understand this
I just can't do it on tests
Stupid Calculus...

Dr. Schaffers, our Calculus professor, is 79, and we all love him. He loves making fun of us, and we've started getting into the mix ourselves. This one is based off of a comment John Davis made in class.

Schaffers tells his class
They think they live forever
They reply "you have!"

Justin replied:

Math haikus are fun
But you must see we are nerds
To the nth degree.

I chuckled and pulled out a proof:

A math nerd is in love
Says he's dependant on her
"I'm her f of x"

Later in class, Peter raised his hand with a question about the final.
"If for some reason you wanted to ruin our lives..."
"Oh, I love it," Schaffers cut him off jovially. "I'm a sadist."

The best news we got today was that we aren't meeting on Friday as previously expected.
"On the ninteenth day of Christmas, dear Schaffers gave to me...No Calculus class!"

Tidings of comfort and joy, ya'll -- no, seriously.


  1. Glad I'm such a trendsetter!

    I like this one -

    "Three things are certain:
    Death, taxes, and lost data.
    Guess which has occurred."

  2. My dear brother, 'tis a very nice post indeed, but I would have appreciated it if you had replaced the second to last word in the first haiku with something else...'silly', perchance. 'Tis a very good post despite that, however, and quite amusing. :)

  3. "Geniuses love math,
    And I think I'm allergic.
    Math just makes me sneeze."

    It sounds like y'all have more fun than should be allowed in a math class :) And I hope you're happy -- you've got me itching to start a song parody...

    -On the fourth day of Finals, my teachers gave to me,
    Four days of tests,
    Three hours of sleep,
    Two reading days,
    And enough stress to drive me insane!-

  4. Hm, not a haiku, but a funny pickup line I heard the other day. You might be one of the few people who actually understand it:

    I wish I were your derivative so I could lie tangent to your curves.

    Heckyes. Try it on your professor. Perhaps he will swoon.

  5. Heather: I am baffled.
    Claire: Justin wrote it, and, since it is not obsene, nor referring to a person, I felt it did not warrent censoring.
    Elizabeth: Just wait for my big government re-write of Good King Winceslas.
    Treasurehunter: Yes...I heard an acapela love song this morning that was nothing but math/geometry/physics references. I barely understood any of them. I've heard the one you mention before; oddly enough, someone quoted it at lunch today.

  6. I'm sorry it baffled you.

    The context was, "If Computer Error Messages Were Writen in Haiku..."

  7. Oh, hahaha! That's quite funny.
    Nathan B. showed me a picture of a question box:

    File "World" is too large for the recycle bin. Delete permenantly?

    The mouse cursor is over 'yes to all'

  8. What I love about
    haiku is that despite there
    being standards for

    syllable number
    there is little else in the
    way of guidelines; so

    structure aside, you
    have infinite topics to
    choose from, which allows you

    to write whatever
    and because it is haiku
    it becomes worthwhile

    anyone can write
    haiku--they are easy but
    somehow impressive

    on the other hand
    reading material in
    different formats

    requires slightly
    more creativity in
    the way of topics

    when it comes to prose
    syllabic restriction is
    least of your worries

  9. Oh wow. Amazing.
    But "choose from, which allows you"
    Appears to have six.

  10. Hey! I just noticed that 'A math nerd is in love' has SIX! Ha! I finally have something intelligent to say... except that you're probably about to tell me that for some reason that isn't intelligent. Oh, well.


A soft answer turns away wrath,
but a harsh word stirs up anger.
The tongue of the wise commends knowledge,
but the mouths of fools pour out folly.