"I have held many things in my hands, and I have lost them all; but whatever I have placed in God's hands, that I still possess." -Martin Luther

Saturday, April 22, 2006

Foot Jiggling 3: Classes

Surprisingly, there is much pleasure to be found in any discussion or application of jiggle-classes. Do not think enjoying this subject is taking too low a view of it. Foot jiggling, as is the case with many other sober practices, is the object of its own unique pleasure.
Classic: Sitting. One leg straight forward and bent straight down to floor. Other leg out to side, folded in at knee perpendicular to first leg, resting above ankle just behind first leg's knee. This allows for a rapid up-and-down jiggle by the top leg, and a beat-keeping thump by the grounded leg, lifting the toe for less disturbance, or the heel for a shift of the entire system. The classic is good for banging on low-lying tables, and is best when sitting at a table. It can, however, be used while simply lounging in a seat, or at a movie. The upper leg sometimes becomes sore, or even numb from its position, and reversing legs is recommended every ten to twenty minutes. The classic is also an effective platform, allowing for notebooks, or reading materials. Unfortunately, low chairs crowded seating and arm-rest mounted tables in college classrooms disrupt this class of jiggle.
Open: The open jiggle can do everything the classic could not, at the loss of some of the rythym and aggravation opportunities. The open consists of a sitting position with legs straight out to the knee, folded down to the ground. The angle of the legs can be changed (tighter, wider, or to one side or the other), even in mid-jiggle, allowing for a swaying or kaleidescoping effect. Jiggling from the heel (lifting the toe off the ground) is tiring and uninspiring from this class. Jiggling off the toe, bouncing the knees is reccomended. Also reccomended is syncrounous jiggling. Aggravation in this stance is only accomplished if the jiggler possesses the stamina to maintain the jiggle long enough to drive observers mad, in an effect similar to Chinese water-torture.

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